Oh it was all going so well wasn’t it? I was vlogging every day despite absolutely hating my appearance and scathingly judging myself whilst editing, but I was doing it, that was the point wasn’t it? I was vlogging, I was editing, I was uploading, I was continuing with all my meetings and events (because I needed footage for the vlogs!) and hiding behind my hair as much as I could whilst my skin erupted and scarred and my self esteem was lowering by the day. I then had 5 unexpected projects pop up out the blue which was amazing because it meant money, and more money before Christmas is what everyone wants right? The projects required more than I had anticipated, the vlogging required more than anticipated, an ongoing project that I thought was smooth sailing started to falter and then it all sort of fell apart. I lost my vlogging rhythm, I stopped uploading daily, and just when I had two vlogs left to at least tie it all together I came down with a horrid heavy cold/light flu (seriously though what is the difference between a cold and flu!?) and I was ill over Christmas and barely able to get by with the festivities let alone vlog 🙁
If this sounds too moanie I apologise, I really haven’t wanted to moan, but I wanted to enlighten you as to why I didn’t finish vlogmas. The weird thing is that after stopping daily vlogging my skin miraculously cleared up totally. I don’t think it was the lack of vlogging that did it, but I do think the less I was stressing over its state the less stress I put on myself and my body was able to clear up the acne breakouts which I’d been struggling with since mid October. I also think four weeks of no coffee and five weeks of a strict and simple skincare routine and in general cutting out gluten and most sugars really helped, my skin is finally dare I say good and I feel confident that it will remain so if I continue to treat it properly.
With hindsight I never should have committed to vlogmas when my skin was at its worst ever (worse even than my teenage years) and when life was already pretty hectic, but I managed so well last year that I thought it would be a doddle, “I’m not an NHS nurse” I said “vlogging daily is eaaaasy” I sing songed. Well I was wrong, it’s punishing when you have commitments racking up, and it was hard on my self esteem. As I lie here in a ring of tissues trying not to let the screen get me dizzy I’ve come to the conclusion that I should always stick to my gut and never push myself to prove a point…to myself. But one thing I am adamant about is that in 2017 my content schedule will be consistent. I will blog up to 3 times a week and I will upload one to two videos a week as well. I have already filmed my 2016 favourites and just need to get that edited to hopefully be uploaded by Saturday, I also want to film my first What I Got for Christmas video. I know they’re quite naff and cringe, but I freaking love watching them and my family did an awesome job of finding varied and cool gifts for me and I want to share that with the internet, so once the room stops spinning I will be getting that filmed and up!
I hope you have all had the most amazing Christmas, despite my illness I sudafeded myself up and had an awesome day with my family, I’m now going to have a nap as this evening I’m going to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – my excitement levels are as high as I will be once I pop a few more Sudafed to get me through. All joking asides though I can feel myself getting better and I’m more excited than ever to get sunk back in to creating content, thank you for sticking with me!